近況和計畫 (3/2/2015)

親愛的家人,

早上靈修, 約翰福音15:9-17 再次地提醒我, 結果子是在弟兄姊妹中間, 是在彼此相愛裡. 過去的18個月, 我和麗方就是這樣活在你們愛的支援下. 【愛人, 接受愛的生活, 才是按照神形象受造的人得享幸福喜樂的生活方式】!  過去的主日, 我在  youth 講道, 有人沒看到我, 因此很關心. 也有各樣的謠言, 有的說我要休假6個月 (聽起來不錯! !) 甚至有人問, 牧師, 你還回來嗎? ?? 每天, 弟兄姊妹有各樣的關心.  有人說- 牧師你要多吃點! 有人說, 牧師, 你要少吃點! 有人說, 你胖了! 同一天, 有人說, 你瘦了! 有人關心血壓, 有人關心血脂, 還有弟兄來陪我運動 ...  我想該給大家報告一下近況和計畫, 以杜絕謠言!

我 還好, 回頭去看沒有甚麼遺憾, 而且看到神藉著麗芳的工作. 理性上接受了麗芳離去的事實, 只剩濃濃的思念!  感情上還在適應. 麗芳的衣物都已打包捐出, 車子也送給需要的姊妹開了! 然而, 這不是為了避免 "睹物思人"!  我住的屋子, 一草一木都是兩人一起添置的, 要將麗芳的影子挪去,是件不可能的任務. 即使賣了房子, 28年同心同行的記憶又怎能打包呢? 既然逃不了, 就不逃了! 追思禮拜上兩張大的照片, 已貼在我的臥室和書房, 將常伴我的日日夜夜!

我已逐漸恢復教會的事奉的步調. 我會先去各小組看看, 然而, 20幾個小組得花個半年吧! (排在後面的小組, 抱歉了!)  要來的主日會講道, 請為我禱告.  我 3/12-4/16 會休假一個月. 我的身體與精神都需要恢復. 除了回台灣看我和麗芳的家人, 我還會進大陸去走走, 在台灣也會四處看看主的工作. 希望回來時, 我能夠重新得力. 麗芳得了公義的冠冕, 我們不能落後太多, 不是嗎?

走前還得報稅, 並處理一些雜事. 想請我吃飯的, 請告訴我! 等我回來, 必定一一赴宴! (一家人就不和你們客氣了!)

麗芳的家人因為安葬的時間短促 (只有一周, 又逢過年), 不能前來. 他們要求我回去在她的老家親戚中, 開個追思聚會.  請為我有靈力為主做見證代禱!

孝棟敬上

休止符 (2/13/2015)

親們,

在麗芳生病的這一年半來, 除了主恩堂的弟兄姊妹, 我知道有許多的人都在為她代禱. 從紐約州到佛羅里達, 從聖地牙哥, 到洛杉磯, 北加州, 德州, 台灣, 大陸, 都有人. 你們的心與禱告, 也隨麗芳的病情而起伏. 謝謝你們了.

我必須承認, 神的劇本不是我所要的. 周一,二,三, 麗芳的各方面都有顯著的改善, 我從沒想到是迴光返照. 昨日, 她一直在沉睡. 今早我進病房, 她還有呼吸. 我怕她熱, 還挪去了一層被蓋. 6:30, 照顧的姊妹發覺麗芳太安靜了, 叫護士來, 已沒有心跳! 早上6:30, 麗芳走完了人生的旅程, 安息主懷. 與最愛她(也是她最愛)的救主同在，不需再受肉體上的痛苦了. 那美好的仗她已經打過了, 當跑的路她已經跑盡了, 所信的道她已經守住了, 從今以後, 有公義的冠冕為她存留!

我如何? 早上我大哭了三次, 將遺體交給醫院及殯儀館處理. 回到家, 看到一草一木, 都有麗芳的蹤跡. 我哭了又哭, 我哭不是難過, 因為她現在與主同在好得無比. 我哭, 是因結髮28年, 我習慣了她在旁邊的日子, 將來有事, 我找誰商量? 過去的一年半, 我更是在神前領受 [照顧她是我最高的優先順序] 的託付. 她是我骨中的骨, 肉中的肉! 我哭, 是因為痛. 二人成為一體, 神拿去了我更好的一半, 祂若不將自己給我, 讓我如何活下去?我哭, 是因著濃濃的不捨與茫然.

在此, 我必須為這部落格譜下休止符! 還好, 不是永別, 而是再見! 那天, 在基督台前, 麗芳會沖著我揮手說- "孝棟, 你怎麼現在才來?" 讓我們等待號角響起時, 再續前曲!

Pastor Donald

Sue's update (2/9/2015): With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible!

Dear Family,


Thank you for praying for Sue. I know you are eager to know Sue's most up-to-date situation. Sorry for the delay, for I still only have very little time to rest.

On 2/7, there were 70-80 bothers and sisters visited us in the ICU. By regulation, only 2 visitors are allowed each time, but they were kind enough to allow more than 10 people to surround Sue's bed side each time. They even managed to find a private room for us.

Sue's conditions has been stabilized since then. The ICU doctor acknowledge that their judgments were off. Sue did not have a stroke. They asked me how I would want to treat Sue. I told them:
(1) Continue to feed her with NG tube ( because Sue is still having trouble swallowing).
(2) Train her to regain swallowing ability.
(3) Eventually, remove NG tube and walk out the hospital herself.
The doctors said  those are good goals, but based on their experience, she will not be able to do it.  I told them: "I respect your professional judgment, but I know we will get them done!" What they do not know is our secret weapon, that is our huge network of prayers! The goals are set! They then transferred us out of ICU into a regular room (we are currently in Thornton West Wing  Room #259).

Sue's sodium level (135-145) has exceeded the lower normal range to 136 yesterday (2/8), and even exceeded the upper range 145 to 147 today (2/9). The doctor has stopped the salt pill and Saline fluid and replaced it with pure water.

Sue's mental status has been improved steadily. She was awake most of the day time. She remembers the visitors, and greets them with her unclear voice. Actually, her speaking clarity has been improved greatly.

What to pray?
(1)Pray for Sue's heart: her heart still raced to 190 twice, but it can be controlled with the heart-rate  medicine. Pray for stable heart rates.
(2) Pray for Sue's lung.
(3)Pray for Sue's swallowing ability to recover fully.

We want to walk out the hospital alive to prove that “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We will walk out UCSD hospital alive and give glory to God!

Pastor Donald

Update (1/19/2015) - 行過水火 (開始服新藥第七天)

你從水中經過，我必與你同在； 你(走昜)過江河，水必不漫過你； 你從火中行過，必不被燒， 火焰也不着在你身上。 (以賽亞書 43:2)

1/13 開始服用新藥CO-1686, 到了第三天 (1/15日晚), 麗芳的疼痛已急遽減輕. 當晚, 她沒有服用任何止痛劑, 一覺到天亮. 從那天直到今天, 麗芳沒有再吃任何止痛劑, 包括Advil. 哈利路亞! 再一次的， 我們經歷神做事的奇妙!

從起初, 神就對麗芳說" 你會走過來, 並且繼續往前." 然而, 回想這一段旅程中, 我們的信心曾經過三次極大的考驗.
【不誤時, 不誤事的神】當2013年9月, 診斷出來是肺癌4期, 我們切切的禱告, 求神讓擴散不要到腦. 結果呢? MRI檢驗出來不只已經到腦, 而且是十分嚴重. 當時, 我們絕望了, 到了腦子, 豈不是等死嗎? 我們不禁問神說- 【你真的知道你在做什麼嗎? 你聽禱告嗎?】可是, 神好像不慌不忙, 像在拉撒路的事上, 他又拖了兩天 (約翰福音 11:6). 然而, 吃了 Tarceva 兩個月後, 再檢驗 , 腦子完全乾淨, 2013年12月一直到今天, 腦子一直是乾淨的. 所有的禱告神都聽了. 神是信實的! 榮耀歸神!

在2013年底, 神就賜下以賽亞書 43:2給麗芳:我們卻不曾想到, 在2014年等著我們 的就是水與火的試煉!
【水的試煉】2014二月, 胸腔積水來勢汹汹, 抽了又回來. 六月中, 麗芳前胸裝了一根引流管. 在家中, 我們自己抽水. 那日子好像沒完沒了般的絕望. 我們不禁再次問神說- 【你真的知道你在做什麼嗎? 你聽禱告嗎?】 可是, 到七月底, 胸腔積水居然奇蹟似的無聲無息的乾了, 至今醫生也沒有好的解釋. 八月中, 在化療前, 引流管被移除了! 水的試煉過去了. 火的試驗接連而來!
【火的試煉】2014年九月開始化療, 11月正式宣告化療失敗. 在其間, 癌細胞在麗芳的骨頭上迅速蔓延, 疼痛如同火燒. 半夜常疼醒. 止痛藥也不太管用, 還有讓麗芳嘔吐的副作用. 在疼痛與虛弱中, 好多次, 麗芳問我- "孝棟, 你覺得我能撐得下去嗎?" 我不太有底氣的給她打氣:"神說能走過來就一定能!" 然後我趕緊下樓, 在神面前哭訴- "夫子, 我們喪命啦, 你不顧嗎?" (馬可 4:38) 然而, 化療的失敗卻讓我們因此符合這新藥實驗的要求. 只是轉眼(三天) 之間, 那種痛不欲生的火的試煉又過去了,一切好像是一場夢.


因著神的信實與你們的代禱, 我們平安走過2014那水與火的試煉. 明天如何? 我們不知道, 但知道祂掌管明天! 過了紅海, 還有許多的挑戰在前方.

- 請為藥持續有效, 且最小副作用禱告.

- 請為麗芳的身體能恢復健康禱告!

過了紅海, 2015, 求神帶我們不停在曠野, 直入迦南!



Donald & Sue

Update (1/12/2015) - 海中乾地

親們,

在以色列人過紅海的前夜, 大東風吹了一夜, 紅海才成為乾地. 然而, 在那一夜的驚恐等待中, 我不知道摩西和以色列人是如何過的?! 這一陣子, 麗芳的情形惡化的蠻快的. 從11月中到如今, 將近兩個月沒有治療性藥物. 她骨頭疼痛的部位及程度都在快速加增. 止痛劑的副作用(頭暈,嘔吐) 也使身體更為虛弱. 昨天, 我倆一起禱告時, 我們向神說- 我們已經沒力氣了, 求神憐憫.
自從12/29 做了活檢 (biopsy) , 一直在等待結果. 1/6 檢驗結果提前出來(原來要10個工作天的), 感謝主, 麗芳的固態腫瘤有他們所要的T790 m 抗藥基因. 但仍需做血液, 心臟等檢驗. 1/8 我們做了系列檢查.今天(1/12)早上, 正式通知我們進入了這個新藥的研究計畫. 這新藥(Clovis 的 CO-1686 ) 是標靶式的服用藥. 明天早上(1/13) 會上 Irvine, 再抽血, 然後服下第一顆藥,兩小時候, 做心臟檢查. 哈利路亞, 一條乾地終於出現在紅海中! 求神給麗芳力量能走過這神為我們在海中開闢的乾地!

謝謝大家與我們一同走過這一個一個的深淵, 低谷. 神是信實的, 我們所受的不會過於我們所能承受的. 你們不離不棄, 在愛中的禱告及各樣的幫助, 我們都銘刻在心. 與你們在主裡相約, 好好愛祂, 趁著有力量的時候服事祂; 等麗芳好起來, 我們再一同在主裡同工!

孝棟/麗芳

Update 1/2/2015

Happy New Year to all of you, our family in the Lord!

2014 had not been an easy year for us. Yet, as we looked back and counted our blessings on the New Year's eve, we are surprised by God's love through all of you. Thank you! Without your supports (prayers and many other practical caring acts), we couldn't have made it.

As you may have known, towards the end of the 2014, Sue has developed drug resistance for the targeting cancer drug Tarceva, and she did not respond well to the chemo treatment either. Thus, we are currently applying for a clinical trial program at U. C. Irvine. The program uses a new targeting drug developing by the Clovis company. Sue's cancer cells need to have a certain genetic structure (T790m mutation) for her to be qualified. She had completed the biopsy on 12/29/14. It will take about 10 business days before we know the results.

Waiting is the most difficult lesson for us to learn; especially when the situation is critically urgent. As I described in my previous update (in Chinese), we are like the ancient Israelites, trapped between the Red Sea and the enemy's army. All we can do is to stretch our hand of faith over the Red Sea, and wait patiently. The rest is all God's work. In those days, HE caused the Great East wind to blow whole night to open the way in the Red Sea. HE caused the pillars of fire (cloud) moved to hinder the enemy's army all night long. So, we are waiting for His mercy!

Despite all the struggles, we did not turn in a blank exam paper in 2014.

We learned that the church is God's since the Central Campus are doing well despite our inadequacies.

We learned to admit our needs and to ask for helps. We learned to receive helps graciously and ask God's blessings for the providers.

We are learning to fight the spiritual battles with prayers, and are still learning!

Donald is also proud to inform you that he received a high score from Sue in serving her in the past year. (What a rewarding experience!)

We are standing firm and waiting to see what God has prepared for us in 2015. We do not know what tomorrow may bring, but we know who holds the future! We covet for your continue prayer supports.



Donald & Sue